Good Morning Glory

I’ve got money to make, so I have to get from my bed to my desk before 11am. Yeah I know, I’m lucky too start at 11am but I still find time to sleep whilst at work. Here is how it goes down.

07:30

My alarm goes off (or does it go on?) . . . Anyway, it’s just a teaser to help me slowly wake up. I lean over to my desk and reset my alarm for 08:00 and go back to sleep.

08:00

Half an hour flew by and my alarm is making noise again, I lean over and press snooze . . . back to sleep again.

08:10

. . . Snooze

08:20

OK, I really have to get up now; I’m 20 minutes behind

schedule. I drift off into a tiny snooze, shake it off and roll out of bed. I get off the floor and put on my ‘house clothes’ (AKA old clothes), switch on the hot water and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Brushing my teeth takes between 10 and 20 minutes (seriously). This is for two reasons: 1) I do everything extremely slowly in the morning until I get out of the shower and 2) I think I have a psychological problem . . . it’s like my teeth are never clean enough (obsessive compulsive?)

08:40

While I wait for the water to heat up a little bit more I do 120 press-ups. These are done in reps, four sets of 30. They also help me to wake up and keep me busy if the bathroom is occupied. After each set of 30 press-ups I pose in my mirror ‘looking good’. I used to do 8 minute abs in the morning but I put it on hold to tone up my upper body (arms and chest).

08:55

Shower time! I get clean . . . what more can I say? I don’t sing and I don’t play with a rubber duck.

09:25

I get out of the bath and attach my iPod to my speaker system. I choose some music that matches my mood and get dressed while rapping or singing along. This process involves more mirror posing, but I’m awake now so it’s serious posing, get ready for another day posing, ‘you’re the man’ posing, ya dig?

09:50

I should be leaving the house now but I must grab a few things before I go. I fill up two bottles with tap water and make two slices of toast. I’m good to go.

09:55

Bopping to the train station listening to music . . . good times.

10:10

I get to the station and see a big queue of people waiting to get their travel tickets or top up their Oyster Cards. I laugh to myself ‘Ha ha ha, imprudent fools’. I walk past them extra happy and ‘tap in’.

There are a few things I REALLY hate about Dagenham East train station. Firstly, no one ‘works’ there so everyone has to wait to use the only ticket machine there, or just walk through the gates and pay (at least £4) at their destination. Secondly, it’s on the District Line. The only lines I know that run less frequently are the East London Line (which should be called the South London line) and the Silver Link line. This means that getting to the station early doesn’t mean you will get to work early . . . or even on time for that matter! Apologising to your boss is not gangsta.

10:15

I’m (hopefully) on the train now and heading towards Barkin station where I will catch the 10:28 C2C train to Fenchurch St. I’m usually reading a book, listening to music or reading The Metro (my favourite newspaper) if I’m lucky enough to get a copy.

10:45

I get of at Fenchurch St. and head over to Pret to get some grub for my shift. Two slices of toast is just not enough for a growing lad so I buy over priced food to satisfy my gut.

Even when I’m late I stop to buy food, I rarely leave the building at work so it’s now or never! I used to splurge at Benjy’s but it seems they have closed down. This troubles my soul; Benjy’s was the house of bargains! I used to get ham and tomato rolls for 25p each! I shed a tear in loving memory; plus the girls that worked there we’re better looking than the Pret girls who all look they used to work on a farm.

10:55

I’m in on time, look around to see what’s been left for me (paper work), and sign on to MSN Messenger . . . ‘Morning Rainbow Drop’ . . . ‘What’s up Razor’ . . . ‘What’s Poppin Boiji?’ . . . ‘Aye Aye Nigga’.

This is my typical weekday morning.

A to the . . .