Monday, 3 March 2008

Ak-Man's Blogging CV/Resume

Curriculum Vitae

Name: Ak-Man


Personal Profile:

They said the wheel couldn’t be reinvented . . . so that’s exactly what I did! I made it rounder and added a few more curves, increasing efficiency by 0.9 percent! I am the shit, the bee’s knees, the dog’s bollocks! I am the empty barrel that made no noise, a walking conundrum with an ego that could eclipse the sun freezing over this hell we call earth. Basically, I am the pirate DVD you were please to purchase until you realised that I am indeed a cinematic experience!

Education Achievements:

  • I could read and write before I went to school . . . so why did I leave with ‘C’ grades in English Language and Literature?
  • Seriously considered taking a short course in creative writing.
  • Read The Da Vinci Code before it was released as a movie

Key Skills/Qualities:

  • Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation.
  • Offbeat Humour
  • Pub Quiz Knowledge
  • Openly Biased Mind

Relevant Experience:

  • 14+ Months of A Darker Shade Of Black
  • Completed One Chapter of A Future Best-Selling Novel
  • George Bush’s Speech Writer
  • An Accredited Thesis Disproving The Loch Ness Monster
  • A Tale Of Two Cities

References are available on request. But please don’t request them.

A to the . . .

Sunday, 2 March 2008

I'm Alive!

"Maybe I'm Exhausted, Maybe I Just Lost It,
Maybe I Should Pick Up The Pen And Try Force It"
-Joe Budden