Wednesday, 31 January 2007

Well, At Least We’re Staying Out Of The Papers

One of the reasons I grab the metro in the mornings on my way to work is because it’s free, no surprise there. I also like to know what my people (blacks) have been getting up to lately. And it seems to me that we have either been very well behaved, or they (The Media) are occupied with more interesting stories. Now I don’t like to bash my own race, but I’m pretty sure that the media are focused on other matters.

Before Christmas you may remember that the police retrieved over a thousand guns in an East London house; a black mans house; I’ll just say it, a nigger’s house. This mans number plate read something along the lines of ‘E9 GUNS’. How the police generated their successful lead we’ll probably never know (that’s sarcasm). Since then the only black crooks that have been media worthy are starring on Prison Break.

How ironic; these guys are trying to escape from prison while the government are just letting convicts walk out the front door because there’s not too many spaces left in jail. Criminals mights just have to get through clearing for that warm bunk bed, Sky television and 24 hour gym facilities; tough break guys.

You may know of a few big stories that flew over my head this month. Before I proceed I must confess to not watching Crime Watch either (it’s too scary for me).

So yeah, I must first congratulate my ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’ on what seems to be a successful start to the year. Eleven more months of this and I might just be able to get into Yates in Leister Square! . . . But as the saying goes, ‘that’s another story’.

You see, even when I watch the news nowadays (the real news, not Sky Sports News) I feel like I’m missing something; it just doesn’t seem right. Terrorists are getting a lot of attention, paedophiles too and the Shilpa Shetty story is still in rotation despite Big Brother being well and truly over in every sense. I was watching the news this morning in fact, and they are still taking about the Russian spy who was poisoned. No room for the black community though, positive or negative; what’s going on out there people?

I should be happy, but I’m more on the confused side.

We, the black community, should be capitalising on this seemingly serene moment in time; instead we are watching it fly by and waiting for the next ‘nigger’ to remind everyone why black are so woefully, and cautiously gazed at. It is evident that there are no modern day black leaders to start a chain of events which may result in me getting into a club with my ‘Tims’ on. This consequently makes a written protest by me quite worthless so I’ll tell you my worries as apposed to my desires.

I live in Dagenham, good ol’ racist Dagenham where the ‘misconceptions’ of black men have arguably kept me alive. One of these misconceptions is that black men are, to some degree physically superhuman. Take 50 Cent for example; he was shot nine times and instead of dying like most people tend to do in this scenario, he went on to sell like a billion (exaggeration) records and bought Mike Tyson’s house. Mike Tyson (also superhuman) now sleeps in my loft coming down only at dinner time to tell us all how he plans to regain the World Heavy Weight boxing title (yeah right Mike). I’m praying 50 Cent’s next album is his most ‘gangsta’ one yet so that these Essex boys will stop following me when I get off the train late at night. Oh it’s true! If they are in their cars they slow down and scream out sh*t like, “F**ing Nigger” and “Go Home Coon”. They won’t get out though; because they don’t know how to kill ‘darkies’, imagine that. Like there’s some big secret.

Last week while I was on the train an old guy, about 65 was grilling me hard! I was thinking, ‘aint you scared old man? This is real life, not Rocky 12’, and indeed he wasn’t. I’m not promoting black violence, I’m against it; it does however have its benefits. When So Solid member Asher D was sent to prison for gun possession it was in sync with the ongoing problem of what is labelled as ‘gun culture’. All of us black men supposedly look alike (to your ignorant member of society) so I’m pretty sure a lot of people were scared when I reached into my pocket to change a song on my iPod (or whatever I was playing music on then). That’s the power bad press can give you; people tend to think twice before they look in your direction.

Another popular discourse of the black man is that we are sexual predators, well that’s the term you’ll see in psychology books. The Media (which is in fact a living entity) prefers the term ‘rapists’. Yes I know, it hurts me also, BUT, check out the same psychology books; in the same chapter you may be just as surprised to find out that white girls (don’t get mad at me, its not my theory) have a rape complex. Crazy as it seems there are theories which suggest that white females suppress their yearning to be raped by black men. You can’t believe everything you read, but I’m sure that the portrayal of this delusion in films such as King Kong (think about it) helped me to bag a couple of young ladies back when I use to work my Mac game in Dagenham . . . I’ll leave you to draw you own fragmented conclusion from that.

I better realign this article before you all get the wrong impression (or maybe you’re getting the right one?)

It would seem that some of the negative stereotypes of the ‘nigger’ have had positive affects on the life of the black man. I would of course prefer the black man to have positive affects on his own life which may end up in the newspaper but you take what you can get I guess. Maybe we have set our bars of success at a level so low that even local papers need not report on it? I think so, therefore in contradictory manner I once again applaud my race (niggers included) for vigilantly skipping across the first month of the year with a nominal mass of bad press.

It appears that UK casino’s, Microsoft’s new operating system (Vista) and the January transfer window make more of an interesting read (or viewing) than whatever’s going on in the black community. Has our culture (good and bad), lifestyle, music and fashion been overshadowed? Maybe for the meantime, but its not even close to being over . . . with eleven months left we’ll get the spotlight back. Will it be the black men or the niggers? I know who my moneys on.

A to the . . .

Saturday, 27 January 2007

'The Fountain'

This morning (25/01/07) a whole month after Christmas I was on the C2C train to Fenchurch St. I won’t say what time it was because I’m already making it too easy for potential stalkers to find me. So anyway, I’m chilling on the train listening to a Gospel album (Tye Tribbett – Victory Live!) I got from a friend the previous night and my phone vibrates in my pocket. I thought it was a text message (as you would) but someone wanted to Bluetooth something to me. I always accept random junk from unknown people because I’m not afraid of receiving anonymous files via Bluetooth. Plus all that talk of getting a virus on your phone is nonsense anyway . . . right? You can tell what their sending you by the file extension (.3gp or .mp3 or .jpg blah blah). So yeah, I accepted it, but I didn’t open it till I got to work; I was enjoying the album and didn’t want to pause it for what most presumably garbage.

Now I’m not going to blame the sender for what I found on my phone whilst at work, because I accepted it right? And I wasn’t surprised either (real men don’t get surprised).

So as you may have guessed, it was porn, hardcore porn; some stuff that’s probably only legal in Germany and certain states of America. The kind of stuff you don’t want your kids watching. From a more moral standpoint, the kind of ‘filth’ nobody should watch.

Don’t ask me to send it to you, I deleted it (well I’m going to delete it) from my phone. Not because I’m ‘oh so righteous’, rather because I don’t want to have to explain what its doing there. Porn, sex and drugs; not the best issues to get probed on.

The moral of the story? I don’t think there is one but some of you may be happy to know that you can now get hold of free porn on your way to and from work, making the extortionate travel expenses to some degree more bearable; and journeys more enjoyable. Others are advised not to accept a file titled “The Fountain” (use your imagination and you’ll probably hit the nail, or come quite close).

Did I watch the whole thing?

Hell no, that’s disgusting!

Ok, I watched it all, just once though!

Nah I’m playing, I deleted that trash.

Help me its still on my phone and I can’t stop watching it. . .

I’m playing with you; not into that ‘material’ . . . right . . . of course.

A to the . . .

Tuesday, 23 January 2007

Can Boyz And Gurls Be Just Friends? Part 2

The second part is among us, ready to be picked apart. Ladies were heard first in part one, so I now hand over to Tolu who has generated an interesting case study for us to ponder on.

“Yo Tolu, Can girls and boys be just friends?”

Tolu writes: Wow! To be honest I would have to say an affirmative NO. Note, “Boyz and Gurls” is the title we are giving (ages 12-30).


Arry is 18 years old, a chronic bishop basher just like his peers; his ‘friend’ Sally is 17 years old and attends the same school. Arry acts like any good friend would, he caters to Sally, listens to her boy-trouble and troubles at home. How sweet a boy Arry is INNIT? Wrong! Think about it critically. As far as the boys are concerned they have already clocked what the deal is. For the ladies let me spell it out ………………. Any fellow who is that nice is being a ‘good friend’ however he is also hoping for that something extra. He has an ulterior motive.

Please do not say I am immature, but instead let us be truthful with each other. There is no need to cajole ourselves. There is always a sort of attraction between attractive friends of the opposite sex.

The moral of the story is this. Arry and Sally might just be friends, but I can categorically assure you, in fact I can bet my house on it, if the opportunity arises for Arry to ‘tap that ass’ or at least ‘lick some breastisis’, I assure you that Harry would grab the chance like a starving Somali who got tossed a box of Kentucky fried Chicken.

Anyway, maybe I’m just too cynical. It may be that boys and girls can just be friends. It is a healthy thing to have a physical attraction for your friends of the opposite sex, even if you do not wish to take further steps romantically.


Ak-Man: Interesting argument, direct and informative. Tolu has focused on an appealing area of this debate. Boys do catch a lot of heat regarding this issue because we are the aggressors; in most cases we are the ones likely to jeopardise a ‘friendship’.

Charlotte steps up next with more edifying conclusions.

Charlotte writes: “To have a good friend is the purest of all Gods gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payments.” - Frances Farmer

May I make myself clear from the outset I am not a hypocrite – some of my closest and most loyal friends, who never fail to let me know where I stand – are in fact male (much love n respect to all you man). However I have never denied that one party will be more attracted to the other - than possibly the other is. It is human nature to be attracted to the opposite sex (ok so if your friend of the opposite sex is gay or lesbian maybe this argument is not relevant – for the rest of us…)

Let’s not kid ourselves we are all judgemental whether you label it so or call it preference – we do it! First we may judge by a persons shoe’s, then maybe by the company they keep, but after getting to know someone & building a friendship with them we are likely to judge them by their hearts. Here is where the respect comes in; a companionship has been built and trust with it, and so the idea of taking it further would not be one taken lightly. Maybe you give it a go it doesn’t work and you remain friends, or maybe you just decide to not pursue it, or maybe it is not a mutual attraction – which ever it is, if you’re completely honest with yourself I’m sure at least one of these scenarios applies to you or has crossed your mind at some stage.

At this point I would like to add that a group of friends of mixed gender seems to be a more realistic approach to boys & girls being just friends. For example I look at my brother (32) whose friends are a diverse mix of culture and of both genders – they have been together for as long as I can remember since I was just a little girl. They do things as a group and I can not imagine just a pair of them (male & female) going out to do something along the lines of a meal and a movie if there was not something more to the situation.

I also feel the circumstance into which a friendship is born is essential. Maybe you went to the same school, workplace or social group or met through a friend or maybe it started with a relationship - are any more feasible than another? I don’t think so for whatever reason a bond was found & formed, an attraction had been born and if there was a physical attraction then possibly desire also.

If you have been friends for a matter of years whilst growing up it would probably be unlikely that all of a sudden you slip into temptation & become emotionally & physically involved with one another, but that wouldn’t alter the fact that the appeal still rests somewhere. For those of us who do have a long standing friendship(s) with someone of the opposite sex it is an extremely difficult and complicated issue to tackle, especially if/when you (or you’re friend) fall deeply in love with someone else - would you still feel as completely comfortable lying on the same bed as your boyfriend or would there be a sense of guilt? - or jealousy if the roles were reversed. For example would you truthfully feel 100% secure if your partner said they were going out with a friend for the evening and you bumped into them with an extremely beautiful/handsome person of your own sex? Should that matter? Some don’t acknowledge insecurity and say they don’t mind – I find that frankly hard to believe.

Control of self is not the issue here (or is it? can we admit to appeal and deny its worth or will it cause conflict latter on?). I do not dispute the fact that a male - female friendship can be controlled but there will always be a sense (no matter how slight) of infatuation on one side if not the other.

Therefore in conclusion I feel it is important how we nurture and maintain our friendships and to consider how we might sustain those friendships once either party begins a serious intimate relationship else where. The pureness of a male - female friendship is one which is built on rocky grounds and should not hold expectation.

Charlotte 14.01.2007

Ramone writes: To summarise all the points made in this interestingly mind gripping subject, I think it’s safe to say that the possibility of a Man and Woman being able to be Just Friends is likely to occur depending on the individual male and female mentality. The question relies solely on how each person views the opposite sex in the equation, how one thinks regarding the term friendship and even more intricately real friendship!

If a person values real friendship then inevitably it will work out fine, alternatively if a person doesn’t hold a real value for friendship then automatically failure is determined to proceed. Because let’s face it, the issue seems to be the fact that there is an underlying agenda, whether there is an attraction between one another and one of the two friends is considering exploring possible avenues outside the realm of just friendship, extending pass the existence of what appears to be genuine. Some people may be able to explore those feelings they’ve gained and soon realise it was a mistake and continue to how it was once before, BUT to be honest, is that really possible? As Lobeh explained in part one, once boundaries have been crossed between a male and female the genuine friendship element is lost…FOREVER! Your not really being friends, you are in fact “Pretending to be friends”, and “Pretend Friends” doesn’t constitute to anything worthwhile and lasting. There’s always going to be that thought in the back of ones mind, “What If”, and hopelessly waiting for them to come around and see you in the same way you see them.

So after this occurrence of crossed boundaries what is the conclusion I hear you ask…This once again refers back to the original summation of the mentality of the individuals in question, because you could take a boy and a girl who are friends who have crossed that friendship line, but lets say there was no feelings involved or even they were of a young age at the time, two people can grow to love each other in a brotherly sisterly way which will be completely different to that of a person of maturity or older age when the exploration may have occurred. But age also plays a big part in the individuals mentality towards friendship, this is not always the case but generally speaking the older you get the more you tend to value it (friendship), so feelings towards someone of the opposite sex is not clearly understood as it would initially be when of a mature age. I’m not saying that a boy and a girl can’t be friends when they are younger and can be when they are older; I’m simply saying that in order for a man and a woman to be Just Friends, it all depends on the mind set of the persons involved.

Ak-Man: Can boyz and gurls be just friends? Of course they can! But you didn’t need us to tell you that did you?

Do they want to be? That’s the problem; in most cases both parties don’t; you just won’t really know until one of you risks the friendship to find out. And yes, before you ask . . . I do think it’s worth risking a ‘friendship’ for. Why? Cos I don’t want to be another Arry, lusting after what’s possibly in arms reach.

Shakespeare said “That man that hath a tongue, I say is no man, if he cannot with his tongue win a woman.”

This isn’t to suggest by any means that you should chase every girl/boy (friend or foe) that you’re attracted to. No, I only use the quote in this article to suggest that if you don’t view the other person as just a friend then stop playing it safe; be a man (or woman of course) and lay your cards on the table. You’re ‘likely’ to either start something special and significant, or end something phoney and pretentious.

A to the . . .

. . . And company of course!

Louise (TeAsEr)
Ramone (Rugged MC)
Tolu (Blaze MC)
Charlotte (Sharlet)
Lobeh ( . . .?. . .)

Tuesday, 16 January 2007

Can Boyz And Gurls Be Just Friends? Part 1.5

Ok, ok, ok. . . I know part two should be up next but I received an email which I just had to share with you all. It’s an interesting response from a friend of mine. She outlines several interesting points that didn’t turn up in part one. I of course have read part two and feel that this will not take anything from the second part. I won’t respond to what she writes as I have a few points to save for part two. But I will note this: after reading this response I anchor my own reasoning for not wanting girls as friends. Though like most of you, I do in fact know girls that I am just friends with.

Lobeh writes: Males and Females as friends? ... A very complex issue and I don’t feel it is down to a black and white answer 'yes or no'. What I find personally is that MALES AND FEMALES CAN BE FRIENDS! "HOWEVER" in my opinion it is rare that you find a Male/Female friendship that is genuine.

What is a friend? I define it as someone who is there for you unconditionally. Shows and implements loyalty that you can never have reason to doubt. Loves you and respects you as a person; Respects your life and cares for you on a level that they are LIKE family. Someone of an opposite sex can be all of that; if you formed a friendship with them on the grounds you may have formed it if they were the same sex as you. (You with me so far?). When you form friendships after a kiss or sex the ‘genuiness’ is gone.

Genuine friendship is when both people are on the same level and to an extent you are both aware of each others role. This is the reason why I have never kept an ex as a friend because there is history there. I would always be wondering if I could talk to them freely about anything including current boyfriends and I would always wonder how they might feel about this? And then there is always the thought, are we over each other yet.

Un-genuine friendships are for "Gains". Whether one person is being undercover about what they aim to get in return or both are holding out for future possibilities. If you are friends with someone and at times feel jealous of their girlfriend or boyfriend/ or even of your friends. OR if you go out of your way to make your friend jealous about your new partner: It does not mean you are not a friend it just means you are not truly genuine and you need to ask yourself what you are trying to gain from the friendship, or why you are even a friend.

I feel many male/female friendships are based on emotional ties. examples are...

* An Ex that cant move on

* Someone who is lingering waiting for you to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend/ waiting for their chance

* Someone who has shared such a history with you that they want you to remain in their life. (Louise and best friend aka godfather)

* Mutual attraction where you are both aware of feelings for each other but agree to stay as friends. (Could this be Ramone and his friend?)

With the last point I feel many people are in denial. They want to convince themselves that they are genuinely friends when in actual fact, this is not the case (under-cover jealously may be evident here).

To conclude I just want to add that generally speaking I feel that it is possible for Males and Females to be friends but there are so many people out there that abuse the 'line of friendship’ to affect that we have all been questioning ourselves about this topic for years. It’s not a joking matter because a lot of people find themselves emotionally un-stable trying to be friends with someone to get closer to them; and from Ak-Mans example, it seems as though this "DOES NOT WORK".Though 'lines of friendship' can be abused and we should be aware of 'forged friendships' we must not deny the fact that it is possible that SOME Males/Females are JUST genuinely FRIENDS.

Please note that these views are my own and only reflect on my opinions, influenced purely on my life experiences. I am sorry if I managed to offend people (As I always manage to, LOL!).

Peace, Lo

Sunday, 14 January 2007

Can Boyz And Gurls Be Just Friends?

I’m sure many of you may have had this discussion amongst your friends before; the recurrent conclusion I’ve noticed is usually “Yeah they can, but…” So to deal with this disgusting ‘but’, I’ve gathered four individuals to present their arguments. This editorial will consist of two parts, with this being the first. For each part a girl and a boy have written their arguments providing case studies, in depth and well thought out arguments.

We hope to broaden your horizon on this topic, many of you may read and agree with statements made, ignore those please. Instead we wish to challenge your perception of the statements you least agree with. I will conclude on part one and two, essentially this is to avoid making the articles too long, so without further ado, I hand you over to Louise.

I advise under 18’s not to use their imagination where the censors are placed as her arguments are quite graphic in a grammatical sense.

Louise writes: Of course they can, I’d have you know that one of my best friends is a guy and the god father of my son…..he’s been my friend for over 7 years and even though we have kissed (once) it was down to too much weed! Since that time we have been more like brother and sister and I think if either of us thought about the other in any sexual way it would make us both physically sick. Also the Ak-man himself has been my friend for nearly 10 years and even though he bullied me and wanted my sexy body he couldn’t have it LOL, joke! Anyway the point I’m trying to make is yes men and women can be friends as me and Ak-man are cool aren’t we sweetie?

I agree when Ak-man says that someone might be attracted to the other and it may not be reciprocated; this can either go one of 2 ways…. 1. The person gets vex and tries to chop the others d-ck/t-ts off as a sign of revenge LOL, or 2. They overcome that and forge a friendship. However some people try to be sly and be friends with that person in the hope that someday they will get their leg over, even if its only once….people if this happens to u and your in this situation then my advice is just f-ck them once but make sure it’s the shi--est f-ck you can give them they will leave you alone LOL. You might lose the friendship but its better than having some psycho stalk you for 3 weeks and keep blowing up your phone and threaten to kill u because it was your fault why their girl broke up with them even though you aint seen them in like 3 months and the reason their girl broke up with them is because the fool still had your picture on his wall and claimed to still love you even though u only dated the asshole for 3 weeks! Not that that has ever happened to me of course. *cough cough*

Anyway I’ve waffled on long enough and Ak-man is telling me he’s gonna edit this! LISTEN B-TCH DON’T U DARE CHANGE A WORD. See me and Ak-man are good friends. So girls and guys can be friends even if it means getting over that awkward f-ck or kiss they can still rekindle a friendship!

I’ve said enough; hope that's enough Ak-man xxxx

Ak-Man: You were warned!

All jokes aside though, Louise makes some valid points; she also seems to be sending out a warning to the girls out there. Ramone steps up next; enjoy a male perspective as you read on; I’ll be back after him to round this half up.

Ramone writes: In extension of what Louise wrote, yes I do believe they can be friends, considering MY best friend is a girl; of course there will be a slight attraction between a boy and a girl once being friends. Especially if both are very attractive, (in the eyes of many) because lets face it, Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

You get close to someone, you adore their physical attributes, get a good taste of their personality and Bob’s your uncle, or Robert’s your uncle Bobs brother, you have two friends male and female who gain interests in becoming more than “Just Friends”. Sometimes the attraction is one sided, which can obviously put a strain on the friendship, but once feelings are exposed and it isn’t mutual this results in the definitive conclusion to the question at hand, which is the possibility that maybe, just maybe boys and girls can NOT be Just FRIENDS!

BUT I remain open minded on the subject, I think boys and girls CAN be just friends. Let’s look at the scenario of a boy and girl, let’s say this boy and girl are both “gay”. I would say just one of them are gay but that wouldn’t eliminate the factor of there being an attraction on either side. Erm…I think I rest my case. None of them will ever like each other so therefore a boy and a girl can just be friend’s LOL!

On a more serious note…I think if you took the possibility of two friends, male and female of course, both having great personalities but agreed that even though the personalities that both of them possessed were incompatible, this may be another result in the likelihood of a boy and a girl being able to be just friends. Because if there are evident factors against being more than Just Friends i.e. the boy being too girlish/soft or as some girls would pleasantly put it “too nice”. This is a lame excuse may I just add, because a girl may meet a guy who isn’t too nice, in fact he may be too aggressive or carefree in the way he may treat a girl and yet still a girl will reject a boy because he is too nice and go for the absolute asshole. But clearly that is a different debate. Let me move on to attributes a girl might have, for instance a girl might be too on the boyish side, you know what I’m talking about? No you dirty minded individuals…not chicks with d-cks, I mean a Tomboy! And let’s face it; no guy wants to be with a girl who rocks the same garms as him. Ya get me, all turning up to the restaurant both wearing a suit, Not The One, trust me. But if u slightly disagree let me be a bit more exact in what I mean, because I may be visualising a certain type of girl that that is more than just friends this can work with, and that’s a girl who refers to you as “Blud”! Hell No, if im gonna wanna date a girl who calls me blud every 5 seconds. But I will be her friend though…Just Friends yeah…LOL!

By Ramone Dixon

Ak-Man: Ok, a lot to take in their, as predicted the general consensus still remains that “boys and girl can be just friend, but…” Using the two articles above, I will try to offer and explanation for this ‘but’. Ramone delved a bit deeper into the issue of attraction, as funny as it may have seemed, a gay man and a gay woman who are both friends are not likely to find each other physically attractive. Even the idea of them both getting drunk and kissing seems a bit far fetched. So clearly if both parties are not attracted to each other in a physical sense, there is more chance of them being ‘Just Friends’. Concluded? Well not quite, why? Well the scenario is just an example. An example which points out that most boys and girls are not just friends because of the romantic possibilities and attractions one or both sides my harbour.

How many ‘friendships’ have we (the boys) ruined by telling a girl that we feel more than just friendship? Its not that we don’t value the friendship, it’s more like we never had the intention of just being your friend. Don’t read this and think it’s just the boys! Many girls stopped talking to me after they told me they had feelings for me, just to find out I never felt the same, it works both ways. As Louise astutely noted, most cases end with either a forged friendship, or feelings of resentment and regret from the rejected party.

That’s quite a lot to take in, so I’ll stop here before I become too literal about my own experiences. Give yourself a pat on the back for reading all of that, part two will be arriving shortly. We’ll give you a bit of time to think about this article, and your ‘friends’ of course. A few surprises wait for you in part two, let us know if you agree or disagree with what’s been said, we may add a few quotes to the second part.

A to the . . .

…and company of course!

Wednesday, 10 January 2007

I Don't Wanna Work No More!

“I Don’t Wanna Work No More”

I’m 22 and want to retire; working is for suckers (true story). I don’t want to sound irrational so I’ll relax a bit on this intro. I know there are a few of you out that love your jobs, and just adore waking up before the sun rises; congratulations, you are part of a minority. When my alarm goes off in the morning I think… “NO WAY, I just now fell asleep!” … Then I think to myself, “Am I at least ill?” Why am I only ill on weekends or when I’m out of work? I’ve wasted too many sick days on my days off, shame on me. And why do i dred going to work so much? Here is part of the reason:

“Long periods of inactivity are deeply taboo - most people would rather tell a direct lie than admit to having done nothing. Employees often work for long periods without having anything to show for it. This lack of tangible evidence for expended effort produces excruciating guilt, and the worker will go to extreme lengths to demonstrate that he actually has been doing something. Even if there is nothing to do, you have to pretend that there is -this is expected, it's not regarded as odd behaviour.” - Dr. Dale Griffin of Sussex University

Nodding your head in agreement? Bare with me while i drift away for a while...Toyin will dig into this more.

Work is a system; a trap which most of us fall prey to. The problem is that there aren’t too many ways out…we need that paper money, we have bills to pay, places to go, cars to maintain, and we want a good quality of life. Do I want nice things also? Well yeah, but I don’t want to work for them, not 35 hours a week anyway.

Call me lazy but the concept of work is extremely uninspiring, the ‘only’ reason a high percentage of people work is to get money that they won’t even enjoy…you ever calculated what you’re going to do with all your money when you get paid? Just to find that you’ve only got enough left to get to and from work for another month. (Don’t get me started on public transport prices please) My situation is by no means that bad, but I know a lot of people who get from month to month like that…what do you equal after the tax, bills, loans, food, rent and maintenance…one of my friends took out a loan (from me) to get his hair cut, he works full time, he’s a manager in fact.

Want bigger things than nights out, new clothes and talking past your ‘free time’ to that ‘special person’ you met on a night out whilst wearing your new clothes? Simple isn’t it, get a better job that pays more durr! Work longer hours! Not so simple, the more you get paid the more you get taxed, and if you’ve got a degree you probably have a tasty little dept building up as you read this. Earn over £15,000 a year and you’ll be paying that back on top of tax and N.I. automatically LOL!

“HEY, that aint funny man!” And £15,000 doesn’t qualify you as a ‘baller’ either.

Its no laughing matter, but that’s how I deal with a lot of issues I can’t get around; either ignore it or turn it into a joke…like “Oh yeah, I forgot bout my student loan” or “Ha ha ha, I’m moving to Canada so I don’t have to pay off my student loan”.

I want that house and car money…lets play happy families money…mum here’s your birthday present (on time) money! But which house will you buy that will cost less than you earn in a year? Second hand cars are cool now, but what about when you grow up? What happens when three bedrooms aint enough? … Am I going too far? Not really, we’re talking bout work right? So we’re talking about money. I’ll relax and hand you over to my friend Toyin for a bit…

Toyin Says: AK I feel you, I really do. When you put it at 35 hours a week that doesn’t sound too bad, however, it’s not 35 hours a week if you calculate from the time you get up for work till the time you get home – from work. That’s about 11 hours a day of work dedication time. As far as I’m concerned while I’m at work I’m working so that’s…40 hours a week excluding the getting ready time etc.

I suppose I can say it could be worse. I could HAVE to work which I don’t, I could be a professional slacker for one or two years more but that’s not the point. I speak to a lot of people about work; most hardly do anything for most of the day. Yea, it sounds great, getting paid for doing nothing but can you ‘do nothing’ in a boring environment everyday? Seeing as I do nothing most of the time while at work why don’t I just stay at home and REALLY get paid for nothing? I know some may believe this to be a complain article and yes, it probably is but it’s also a ‘challenge the norm’ article. In reality what is stated here is what most people feel, only difference is, we’re pointing it out and not just ‘getting on with it’ without a second thought.

My only real consolation is that all this boring, doing nothing work will pay off eventually. I just hope ‘eventually’ isn’t too far in the future where I’m too old to enjoy it. I believe I’ve been working since I can remember whether it’s through school, college, uni or paid employment – its work. I’m waiting for the pay off and it better be big!

I sympathise with the people who struggle to ‘make ends meet’. Poor folks. Isn’t life about enjoying it? Or is that another misconception? Money is the root of all evil but why do we all crave it so much? Quality of life is much more important than standard of living although I admit, the two are intimately interlinked.

Life is a gift from God, enjoy and use it wisely.


“I Don’t Wanna Work No More” because money is easy to make but hard to keep. What I want to do to make money is complex and I’m not getting into it on here.
“I Don’t Wanna Work No More” unless I can find something stimulating, something which offers ‘job satisfaction’.
I’ll be at work tomorrow morning though, sleeping at my desk with my eyes open (it’s a gift). I don’t want to discourage anybody; it’s just something to think about…Do I want to work till I’m 65? Do I even like my current job? Does a 15 year mortgage sound that appealing? When will that dream car be parked outside my house?

All good things come to those who wait right? Maybe, but I’m sure there’s a lot out there just waiting to be taken also.

A to the. . .

Saturday, 6 January 2007

“Make Sure You Marry a Nigerian Girl”

This is probably one of my mums’ largest concerns about my life, in fact the ONLY thing she wants more is for me to be a good Christian and an example to others. For those of you who don’t know me well or at all, my mum and dad are both Nigerian…making me…Nigerian!

Now until 2006 I had been ruthlessly dodging Nigerian girls…why? Not too sure really, I didn’t even realise until I was chatting to my friend bout the different races of girls we’d dated and stuff…so I could only think of one girl and she was a chicken head! (No names need be mentioned it was a long time ago). So in ’06 I had the mentality of dating more Nigerian girls, mainly because I was trying to be a bit more focused and cautious about my future. Maybe I went a bit OTT with it, but I realised that I had no excuse for the low number of Nigerian girls in my past. In ’06 I met a lot more and had a few different experiences with them.

What bugs me most about the Nigerian girls I tend to meet is that like me, they we’re all raised, or have spent a majority of their life in the UK…so they are pretty much UK girls (That’s not a terrible thing). Now because I’m pretty much a London boy myself it shouldn’t bother me right? . . . Nah man, its bugs me still, I can see a lot of “Nigerianess” in these girls, I can see how they are still rooted in their culture, but I figure why be so focused towards hooking up with a Nigerian girl when she’s pretty much your average London girl?

One of my friends said he’s going to go to Nigeria to get his wife! I might need a ticket too bro, let me know when your going…we’ll stack up numbers from one of the Redeemed Ministries Holy Ghost Nights! It’ll be like the sequel to “Coming to America”…apart from us not being princess…but we’ll jus lie and say we play football in England…you be Mikel and I’ll be a more handsome version of Kanu!

Now a lot of people that know me are probably thinking “What a hypocrite, you cant even speak your own language, all you know how to do is eat, blah blah blah…”. Relax, it isn’t that serious! Plus Lord willing I’ll shack up with a tasty Nigerian lady, I’m not too interested in looking for anything else…but I’d definitely give a fair hearing to any girls that aren’t Nigerian but are interested… I don’t discriminate, bring me a sexy Eskimo who can make jollof rice and I’ll be like mum, this is my girl and she says she can learn to cook anything your teach her. “It’ll be hard at first darling but my mum will get use to you.”

My Brother Says: I’ve, on many occasions heard my mother (with my sister adlibin “yeah its true”) rambling on to my brother “I’m so looking forward to the day when you bring a nice Nigerian girl to this house. . . I’m a not racist but if your relationship is to work then the people should be of the same culture . . .” if your Nigerian marry a Nigerian to save the hassle that’s what I say (wise words). I know its hard when being a Nigerian raised in the UK to not look at other cultures because some of these white girls are doin’ it (looking nice) but keeping the same culture seems to be the best way. I on the other hand am planning to marry a sweet Bangladesh girl (wink).

Ak-Man: I’m back now (Hoorah)! My bro has the right idea; I know it may seem like I’m taking a few shots at precious Nigerian girls but in reality you’re at the top of my list regardless…not jus because my mum says so, not just because of the food, BUT because it makes so much sense, logically and emotionally! I’ve been enlightened and no longer need the ticket to Nigeria…Nigerian born, UK raised…that’s me, so a girl who has the same background is pretty much what I need right?

My Buddy Tolu Says: As you can see by my name, I am Naija. Infact My Full name is Tolu Popoola; so for all the people that know me, and there are a lot of you, (being a famuous footballer like me) there will be no mistaken it. I keep it real. Anyway I tell you, from east to west, Naija girls are the best. I hope my friend Sasha is not reading this and all the countless Jamo girls I've gone out with.
Having 'bigged my niggarettes up' I have to say, you lot need to change your attitude. Be less materialistic, and give a bus pass nigga a chance, if he's got potential...Trust me, I used to be a buss pass nigga, and now look at me, I'm a bus pass when I come on holiday in England. In the U.S.A, I'm a thriving footballer/businessman/producer. So the moral of the story is feel free to leave ur number with Ak-man, I might just make your day.

There really isn’t any concrete conclusion here; at times life is like rolling dice…if you don’t have a “Get Out Of Jail Free Card” you better shuffle your fists and pray for a double six!

A to the…

Thursday, 4 January 2007

The Minds Design (part 1)

"Do You Think What You Think You Think?" - Thats the title of a book im currently reading...its objective is to challenge the way you look at the books title.

Now of course we all think we're in tune with ourselves, but the questions and quiz's this book launches got me thinking...
...Now heres the question I send out to you...

...If We Dont Think What We Think We Think, How Can We Possibly Understand Others Who Dont Even Know What They Think?".

A lot of people close to me may think they have a good idea of who I am and how my mind is designed...but if I dont even know myself...surely im just protraying either:

a) What I think you want to see


b) Who I think I am, no what I am

I know this is all a bit scattered...but take some time to think about it...(make a cup of tea or grab somthing to eat...if your new years resolution is to get in shape then do a little work out)

Back Now? . . . Cool

So yeah, whats the importance of this post?
Well...I want people to think about whether we should stop tryin to clock everyone else and start clockin ourselves. Why do we spend so much time trying to figure out people who dont even know what they think, when we could spend that time understanding ourselves making our views, arguments, morals, etc more consistent.

Rapper Styles P (He did that track "Locked Up" with Akon) said in one of his tracks "Just Knowing Myself Makes Me Affiliated". At first I jus thought it was a nice piece of lyricism...but now I look at it in a different light...I spend a majority of my time by myself, even when im with other people im still with me...thinking, day dreaming and all that stuff...debating with myself bout a whole load of junk like ... What are my top 5 drinks? (Supermalt, Rubicon Lychee, Original Ribena, Strawberry Capri-Sun...and somethin else i cant remember at the moment)

...But anyway, when it comes to more complex issues, its often harder to come to a conclusion. Usually cos i dont really know where i stand on certain issues so i repeat the same thoughts in circles. Do I avoid myself when it comes to tougher issues? Like how white people avoid talkin bout racism cos they dont wanna say anything that makes em seem racist (and most ppl who aint white are jus waitin for them to say somethin racist). Maybe there are sides of myself (the supressed areas that come out jus to surprise people that think they know me..."I didnt know u was like that Akin") that i dont wanna comfirm exists in me?

Now to avoid typing myself in circles im gonna end here...consider this the introduction cos there are some branches I need to break off into also...

Feel free to leave ya comments, the next part should be more refined, i'll chuck in a few real life examples too.

A to the. . .