Friday, 30 March 2007

Good Morning Glory . . . FIGHT!

Morning, the unpleasant time of the day that involves waking up isn’t always so unpleasant. Some mornings you wake up and feel on top, you feel good, alive and ready for combat.

I don’t think my Pops saw it coming this morning, but before he left for work I managed to ‘son’ him twice. I don’t think he was looking for beef, but that’s usually the case when you find it.

Round 1 . . . ‘ding ding’
My parents’ room has a built in toilet and shower (en suite), my Pops has appointed himself gatekeeper. I ignored the gatekeeper this morning and strolled into his room to get some bog roll. There wasn’t any left around the house so my parents’ room was the last resort. Surely enough there was one chunky roll of toilet paper on the holder. I took it off and was heading out of the room.

“Where are you going with that?” he snapped.

He was ready to go into a rant when I told him that I bought it (which i did) and there is none left in the house. His brain started thinking of a counter attack as my mum watched to see who was going to come out tops in the stand off.

He couldn’t say a thing.
I wouldn’t usually class this as 1-0 but I was in a good mood this morning and started dancing in his face with the toilet roll in my hand. My mum was laughing hysterically and he couldn’t say a word. Just as he was about to say something I turned around and walked out of the room . . . toilet roll in hand. 1-0 to Ak-Man.

Round 2 . . . ‘ding ding’
My Pops must have been looking for the equaliser; we had another showdown about 15mins later. Not enough resting time if you ask me.
As I finish brushing my teeth I was ready to get a shower. I left the bathroom my pops bursts out of his bedroom holding a blue shirt.

“Iron this” he commands gleefully.

I started whining like a twelve year old and to make matter worse my younger bro is watching . . . not gangsta! I’m trying to explain to him that I have to get ready for work; he just tells me that I have to do it. Ugh, he’s making me feel like a house servant! This isn’t cool at all. Then to seal his equaliser he imitates the dance I did in his room and my bro starts laughing at me. It’s levelled up at one a piece now, but it cant end like this.

Round 3 . . . ‘ding ding’
His shirt is ironed but he has another problem.
As it turns out, I was the only person in the house who had any shower gel this morning. I waited patiently for a few minutes . . . he then came out of his room and nonchalantly strolled across into the main bathroom. I knew what he was looking for and I let him take it . . . just so I can take it back.

“I’ll be having that” I told him.

He looked at the shower gel and then at me. I had a grin on my face and was ready to take him out of the game.

“I know you’ve got more” was this his attempt and salvaging his pride?

I took the shower gel out of his hand and told him that it was my last one (which it was) and I was ready to jump in the shower. Fortunately my brother was watching the duel, and nothing makes you rub it in harder than having an audience present. I waited for myself and my Pops to be in good view of my brother and then did a little jig which cracked up my brother and we both laughed at my Pops. Not too hard though, never too old for an ass whooping. 2-1 to Ak-Man!

A to the . . .


Shrink wrapped scream said...

Hey, Ak-man, thanks for a nifty piece of writing, made me laugh!

Sebastien said...

Haha, that's great, and it sounds like it's all done in good fun. I'm sure victory wouldn't be as sweet if you didn't have your little bro around to enjoy these vicious fights.