Saturday, 7 July 2007

The Fake Summer Of 2007


The poor weather has slashed the number of sickies taken by workers by nearly a fifth. Last summer, employees called in sick to bask in blazing temperatures. But during the wettest June on record, the number of sickies fell by 17 per cent and many workers even put in extra hours, said absence management company FirstCare, which carried out the research.Metro, Friday, July 6, 2007

What kind of foolishness . . .

I was only joking when I said that this ‘summer’ would be recorded in the history books. Now tales will be handed down for generations regarding The Fake Summer Of 2007 . . . a joke at the time, but now it’s the case.

I never saw this coming; never even had a clue. I was actually running my mouth in the early stages of spring claiming that this would be the hottest summer in quite some time. I got back on my 8 min abs routine and started over doing the press-ups again. Even bought some new clothes and a hot pair of sunshades . . . I was up for it; ready to rock and roll . . . then it started raining and it hasn’t stopped since.

People are strolling around with their winter jackets on and their umbrellas at the ready. Unless you go to a nightclub it’s pretty damn hard to find scantly clad women. The lager louts are keeping their shirts on and kids are yet to burn the field behind my house. Is there any advantage to this fake summer? I can only imagine the agricultural industries benefiting from these downpours . . . and of course environmentalist who would have us believe that we are suffering because we have neglected our ecosystem.

If you don’t live in the UK then you might not think that this is a big deal . . . please believe me, this is bigger than a big deal!

In the UK we’re use to crappy summers, but we like knowing that we’ll usually get a few heat waves here and there. We like knowing that it might not always be a sunny day, but it’ll always be frustratingly hot. We love the fact that our bosses know we’re not sick but allow us the day off regardless knowing that they’ll skip a couple of days the following week.

What’s in store for us this summer? Err . . . more rain and wind. We’ve had floods and hailstones already, so snow in July isn’t that far fetched (seriously people, it’s that bad).

I’ll find something to do . . . already been getting myself into little dramas here and there. Fortunately this isn’t a ‘Dear Diary’ style blog so that’s all I’ll say about that.

Hopefully we’ll get a nice day where I can sport my killer shades and stroll aimlessly along Oxford Street checking out London’s finest ladies.

A to the . . .

6 comments:

Pope Terry said...

I've just seen bob geldoff getting thrown off a plane.... its an advert dont worry. Here in Oz I'm really enjoying the chilly weather were having, and some rain for all those farmers. Shame about your shades though they are classy. As the owner of a keg instead of a sixpack I must say I'm curious about you ab-workout, do you have a dvd out.

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

As a fellow-sufferer, I can only thank you for bringing our plight to the attention of the rest of the world.. I think it's well behind time for us to have a concert held in our name (somewhere sunny), so we can receive emergency sun-bed deliveries and/or weekend passes to Bermuda - what do you think?

Ak-Man said...

Pope - The shades are serious business. I was wearing them a bit too much when I went to Texas. As for the 8 min abs . . . it's a killer workout! I recommend it, in fact, almost everyone I know has heard me ramble about it.

Carol - I dont have much need to a sun bed. A weekend pass to Bermuda is mighty attractive! We deffo need relief aid!

: (

singleton said...

sunny place it is! Now what are we suppose to raise for you guys?

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

So as it's still pissing it down, how come you're not indoors and updating this blog of yours, then??

Lady_T said...

It's gonna rain tomorrow.