Thursday, 19 July 2007

Fuel My Imagination

“China will fire rockets at the sky to scatter any rain clouds before next year's Beijing Olympics, according to the China Meteorological Association.”

From David McMahon’s authorblog.

So, the Chinese want to use rockets in an attempt at ensuring better weather at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. I can’t see a problem with that . . . But I’m told that they don’t get a lot of rainy weather; it’s quite possible that they simply like blowing things up.

This got me thinking as I swung in my chair at work, pondering on ways to waste time . . .

. . . If rockets can make the Olympics a better event, surely they could improve the quality of my living.

The Chinese want to use rockets to scatter rain clouds; I’d use them to scatter . . .

. . . Dirty dishes when I’m in a rush to go out. And if I’m in no particular rush I’d just leave a hand grenade in the sink . . . BOOM! No more dirty dishes . . . and bye bye kitchen. Two birds, one stone.

. . . Monday morning queues at the train station. This comes with a warning, ‘I need to top up my Oyster card, move over or get blown up. I can’t be late for work again or I’ll have to blow up my boss.’

Rockets will also assist my work and social life immensely.

. . . Nothing yells ‘Ak-Man’s in the house!’ louder than rockets.

. . . Want to empress the shirts at your job interview? Fire a rocket at the meeting door and walk through the dust, debris and smoke clouds in your finest attire. Try to get yourself some background music to add effect. ‘Nice to meet you.’

. . . Want to create a perfect moment to give your date that special first kiss? She’ll remember the fireworks for a long time . . . you might even get invited in for ‘coffee’ . . . sweet premarital coffee.

And I definitely find my way to the 2008 Beijing Olympics!

New world records for the hundred meter sprint and high jump. Yeah I could enter a few more competitions, and smash a few more records, but I hear China is a very nice country. The fastest developing country in world history . . . I want to see the sights and put my feet up. Plus the weather will be nice and I’d get to sport my shades.

What would you do with your rockets?

A to the . . .


Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

I'd put one up the arse of that little anonymous clerk who refused to renew my kids disabled badge.. "YES, take that you bar steward!!"

Gee, thanks for reminding everyone in that last post of my previous life of larceny, I owe you one. Oops, forgot - we're even. God mentions your name in one of mine (tee-hee) and that was even before I'd got so far as to read this. Fair enough.

Ak-Man said...

Carol - Whoa . . . aint gonna argue with you on that one. That should hopefully send out a clear message; they'll fast track your appeal.

david mcmahon said...

Wonderful work, Ak-Man,

You're off and running, like SeaBiscuit. It's great to see you in this mood.

Wey-hey! Go Ak-Man.

Am going to point to this post later tonite ....

Good on ya, mate



Pope Terry said...

'Rocket Skates', lets forget the fact I can hardly stand let alone skate, but by jove I'd fly if I had my own pair of enormous rocket skates. Or a rocket powered fork... losing an eye would be a certain thing but my lord dinner would be fun.

Joy said...

sweet premarital coffee what a great line. And I'd venture that is the best possible use of rockets. Love not war and so forth. :)