Wednesday, 18 July 2007

Answers From A Former McDonalds Employee

It should now be common knowledge that I did hard time at McD’s. Shortly after my release I began rehabilitated myself and slowly integrated myself into a modernized society once more. A model citizen, some might say.

A few scars remained however; pictures still vivid in my head. The nightmares used to feel so real; they’d wake me out of my sleep . . .

“Can I get a cheeseburger with no cheese please?”
“A hamburger?”
“Are you deaf? A cheeseburger with no cheese moron.”

So I opened up the forum, and said I’d write up a response to your comments. Here’s what we got . . .

Eugene D. Gibson said...
Aa a former worker of McDonald's here in the Bahamas I understand your plight.I like your content keep it up!

I’m sure you do Eugene. Same company, different parts of the world. And it’s not exactly a glamorous establishment which entices interesting (or even well-mannered) folk. Just hungry people who want cheap, low quality food . . . and they want it now.

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...
Ah, I used to work the till at Woolies. I hated it. It was before the days of security tags. My way with getting even with the system was to give three for two on every purchase I put through. Seems I was way ahead of my time..

Ahead in more ways than one Carol. I used to dish out a few bits and bobs . . . not to get back at the company though, my case was pure negligence. And if people complained about not having enough fries I used to go over the top and cram in as many fries as the carton could take.

Bart said...
What exactly IS the secret sauce?
How much food gets nuked as opposed to fresh grilling/heating?
How the f do sesame seeds stick to the buns?

The secret sauce is such a secret that even employees don’t know it. The packets had no info about the ingredients. They used to deliver the boxes in unmarked vehicles.

Surprisingly, not much nuked at all. Only pancakes got the microwave treatment. ZAP! The rest was fried, grilled or toasted.

Sesame seeds on buns? They are holding on for their lives. What purpose do they have except being eaten? Either that or end up getting flicked off a table. I’d cling too.

Xymyl said...
I never had the McJoy of getting McPaid. I never even bothered to apply at my local McDonalds. Everybody there had 4 year degrees, and I was a high school drop out. I knew I would never be accepted as part of that elite group.
I wish they had Indian McDonalds in the U.S. They probably wouldn’t have hired me either because I most certainly would have been in a lower McCast.
I could really go for a McAloo Tikki right now.

You’ve got me thinking about the possibility of a Nigerian McDonald’s (not a McDonald’s in Nigeria).

Fried McChicken with McJollof and of course, the nation’s favorite beverage, Supermalt. It’s bedtime after that inexpensive, belly bulging meal deal.

Deborah Gamble said...
In the United States they have strict rules like the Happy Meal paper bag must be folded twice down at one inch creases. Same for the UK?

I used to just scrunch the top of the bag and hand it over with a compensating smile. I have no time for company policy. “Next”

If there was a rule about Happy Meals I didn’t obey it.

Shareen said...
McDonalds!!!!!!!!! Dont it bring back memories? I actually liked working there for a while as well, but only when i was doing kids parties, until i realised they were taking the mick out of my life! Il neva regret working there still :)

I don’t regret working their either. I regret staying as long as I did though. Four years later and I still get grub from there, and see people I used to work with. I wonder if they’ll ever be released. Some were there before me.

Doug said...
Hey ak-man,
The horror,the horror.
I too worked in fast food longer
than I wish to remember.
Nothing like coming home with
a layer of grease on your body.
I'm returning to my blog two
days a week so come by and say

I used to come home stinking of fast food. I also used to bring some home on many occasions. I ate way too much of that trash and never got sick of it. I made my own custom burger; it was called the Ak-Mac (I really did this). It was a heavy duty burger; I was only allowed to make it when certain managers were on shift. Quarter buns, two slabs quarter meat, lettuce, Mac sauce, and some other ingredients that weren’t what they appeared. Hmmmm . . . tasty.

I could do with a McChicken Premiere right now actually. Make it a large meal with a still Fanta and an apple pie.

A to the . . .


Pope Terry said...

I'm a non beleiver in the whole house of Ronald, I saw a show on TV where a man collected Cheeseburgers from the establishment of which you speak, he kept them in his shed, the earliest he had was from 1996, this show was new in 2003. The cheeseburger in question, the one that was now healthily past the toddler age and was now a active seven year old, was still in perfect condition, no mould, fungus, or anything else untoward on it.

Ak-Man said...

Pope - Somehow I don't believe that story.

I've heard a lot of 'myths' about fast food places; nothing puts me off. If hunger strikes it's time for war! Bring on the burgers and fries!

Pope Terry said...

Well I've looked for proof on the website but I can find none, but rest assured it happened. I emailed them and hopefully there is proof on the way.

Deborah Gamble said...

Terrific enlightening piece on the notorious fast-food chain. Thanks!

Deborah Gamble said...

The more I think about it... Sounds like the beginnings of an exceptional documentary.

Ak-Man said...

Hey Deb . . . I've actually written a documentary piece about my time in McDonalds already. maybe i'll post it up one day.