Well, At Least We’re Staying Out Of The Papers

One of the reasons I grab the metro in the mornings on my way to work is because it’s free, no surprise there. I also like to know what my people (blacks) have been getting up to lately. And it seems to me that we have either been very well behaved, or they (The Media) are occupied with more interesting stories. Now I don’t like to bash my own race, but I’m pretty sure that the media are focused on other matters.

Before Christmas you may remember that the police retrieved over a thousand guns in an East London house; a black mans house; I’ll just say it, a nigger’s house. This mans number plate read something along the lines of ‘E9 GUNS’. How the police generated their successful lead we’ll probably never know (that’s sarcasm). Since then the only black crooks that have been media worthy are starring on Prison Break.

How ironic; these guys are trying to escape from prison while the government are just letting convicts walk out the front door because there’s not too many spaces left in jail. Criminals mights just have to get through clearing for that warm bunk bed, Sky television and 24 hour gym facilities; tough break guys.

You may know of a few big stories that flew over my head this month. Before I proceed I must confess to not watching Crime Watch either (it’s too scary for me).

So yeah, I must first congratulate my ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’ on what seems to be a successful start to the year. Eleven more months of this and I might just be able to get into Yates in Leister Square! . . . But as the saying goes, ‘that’s another story’.

You see, even when I watch the news nowadays (the real news, not Sky Sports News) I feel like I’m missing something; it just doesn’t seem right. Terrorists are getting a lot of attention, paedophiles too and the Shilpa Shetty story is still in rotation despite Big Brother being well and truly over in every sense. I was watching the news this morning in fact, and they are still taking about the Russian spy who was poisoned. No room for the black community though, positive or negative; what’s going on out there people?

I should be happy, but I’m more on the confused side.

We, the black community, should be capitalising on this seemingly serene moment in time; instead we are watching it fly by and waiting for the next ‘nigger’ to remind everyone why black are so woefully, and cautiously gazed at. It is evident that there are no modern day black leaders to start a chain of events which may result in me getting into a club with my ‘Tims’ on. This consequently makes a written protest by me quite worthless so I’ll tell you my worries as apposed to my desires.

I live in Dagenham, good ol’ racist Dagenham where the ‘misconceptions’ of black men have arguably kept me alive. One of these misconceptions is that black men are, to some degree physically superhuman. Take 50 Cent for example; he was shot nine times and instead of dying like most people tend to do in this scenario, he went on to sell like a billion (exaggeration) records and bought Mike Tyson’s house. Mike Tyson (also superhuman) now sleeps in my loft coming down only at dinner time to tell us all how he plans to regain the World Heavy Weight boxing title (yeah right Mike). I’m praying 50 Cent’s next album is his most ‘gangsta’ one yet so that these Essex boys will stop following me when I get off the train late at night. Oh it’s true! If they are in their cars they slow down and scream out sh*t like, “F**ing Nigger” and “Go Home Coon”. They won’t get out though; because they don’t know how to kill ‘darkies’, imagine that. Like there’s some big secret.

Last week while I was on the train an old guy, about 65 was grilling me hard! I was thinking, ‘aint you scared old man? This is real life, not Rocky 12’, and indeed he wasn’t. I’m not promoting black violence, I’m against it; it does however have its benefits. When So Solid member Asher D was sent to prison for gun possession it was in sync with the ongoing problem of what is labelled as ‘gun culture’. All of us black men supposedly look alike (to your ignorant member of society) so I’m pretty sure a lot of people were scared when I reached into my pocket to change a song on my iPod (or whatever I was playing music on then). That’s the power bad press can give you; people tend to think twice before they look in your direction.

Another popular discourse of the black man is that we are sexual predators, well that’s the term you’ll see in psychology books. The Media (which is in fact a living entity) prefers the term ‘rapists’. Yes I know, it hurts me also, BUT, check out the same psychology books; in the same chapter you may be just as surprised to find out that white girls (don’t get mad at me, its not my theory) have a rape complex. Crazy as it seems there are theories which suggest that white females suppress their yearning to be raped by black men. You can’t believe everything you read, but I’m sure that the portrayal of this delusion in films such as King Kong (think about it) helped me to bag a couple of young ladies back when I use to work my Mac game in Dagenham . . . I’ll leave you to draw you own fragmented conclusion from that.

I better realign this article before you all get the wrong impression (or maybe you’re getting the right one?)

It would seem that some of the negative stereotypes of the ‘nigger’ have had positive affects on the life of the black man. I would of course prefer the black man to have positive affects on his own life which may end up in the newspaper but you take what you can get I guess. Maybe we have set our bars of success at a level so low that even local papers need not report on it? I think so, therefore in contradictory manner I once again applaud my race (niggers included) for vigilantly skipping across the first month of the year with a nominal mass of bad press.

It appears that UK casino’s, Microsoft’s new operating system (Vista) and the January transfer window make more of an interesting read (or viewing) than whatever’s going on in the black community. Has our culture (good and bad), lifestyle, music and fashion been overshadowed? Maybe for the meantime, but its not even close to being over . . . with eleven months left we’ll get the spotlight back. Will it be the black men or the niggers? I know who my moneys on.

A to the . . .