Saturday, 27 January 2007

'The Fountain'

This morning (25/01/07) a whole month after Christmas I was on the C2C train to Fenchurch St. I won’t say what time it was because I’m already making it too easy for potential stalkers to find me. So anyway, I’m chilling on the train listening to a Gospel album (Tye Tribbett – Victory Live!) I got from a friend the previous night and my phone vibrates in my pocket. I thought it was a text message (as you would) but someone wanted to Bluetooth something to me. I always accept random junk from unknown people because I’m not afraid of receiving anonymous files via Bluetooth. Plus all that talk of getting a virus on your phone is nonsense anyway . . . right? You can tell what their sending you by the file extension (.3gp or .mp3 or .jpg blah blah). So yeah, I accepted it, but I didn’t open it till I got to work; I was enjoying the album and didn’t want to pause it for what most presumably garbage.

Now I’m not going to blame the sender for what I found on my phone whilst at work, because I accepted it right? And I wasn’t surprised either (real men don’t get surprised).

So as you may have guessed, it was porn, hardcore porn; some stuff that’s probably only legal in Germany and certain states of America. The kind of stuff you don’t want your kids watching. From a more moral standpoint, the kind of ‘filth’ nobody should watch.

Don’t ask me to send it to you, I deleted it (well I’m going to delete it) from my phone. Not because I’m ‘oh so righteous’, rather because I don’t want to have to explain what its doing there. Porn, sex and drugs; not the best issues to get probed on.

The moral of the story? I don’t think there is one but some of you may be happy to know that you can now get hold of free porn on your way to and from work, making the extortionate travel expenses to some degree more bearable; and journeys more enjoyable. Others are advised not to accept a file titled “The Fountain” (use your imagination and you’ll probably hit the nail, or come quite close).

Did I watch the whole thing?

Hell no, that’s disgusting!

Ok, I watched it all, just once though!

Nah I’m playing, I deleted that trash.

Help me its still on my phone and I can’t stop watching it. . .

I’m playing with you; not into that ‘material’ . . . right . . . of course.

A to the . . .


Anonymous said...

lol...Joker...Look at you...trying to dismantle people's brains...Let's just leave it that way.


Anonymous said...

LMAO..This is funny cos i really thought it was about a fountain........Classic story

Anonymous said...

I was sitting in my living room wid the whole family reading what i thought was gona b deep reading and i was just laughing my head off...chose not to explain to everyone why i was laughing though...