Saturday, 17 February 2007

She Use To Do My Dirty Work

This rap verse wasn’t written to a beat; a lot of my lyrics aren’t nowadays. I just like to scribble on a pad when thoughts, concepts or feelings need to leave my head.

Now I understand why Joe was busy hiding from irony,
Karma’s a bitch too and the bitch keeps finding me.
I ain’t that cute don’t know why she has her eye on me,
Something I did before? Most likely she’s reminding me.
Akin the angel? Innocent victim?
That’s never the case, with good reason she picked him.
Mistakes I made then with intent and so proudly,
I come to regret whilst on the other side of the story.
No greener grass here, just concrete paving,
The walls are stone cold with my name engraved in.
All of a sudden I start feeling reflective,
Imprisoned in myself just letting the message set in.
I can’t take this, I wanna change the settings,
Change the whole set but regret has to set in.
Just let burn till it can’t get worse, it’s due,
Then she’ll leave and take vengeance for what they did to you.

It's open to interpretation, but the preferred reading seems pretty clear to me. What do you think?

A to the . . .


Xymyl said...

Hey, thanks for being the first person to actually post to my (evil-nature) blog. Not that I was soliciting posts, but it's always good to be recognized (for being unknown).

As for the rap, since you seem to have asked for anyone to make a comment... Overall I like it, the intro is much stronger than the outro, in my opinion. It has good imagery but could do with more rhythm and less rhyme, or at least less focus on rhyme.

I think a good style for you would be to run the meter long short long, or fast slow fast, or something else that allows the lyric to carry itself independent of the rhyme.

Just my thoughts, I don't know if that is the kind of "What do you think?" that you were going for, but you have the power to delete my comment if you don't like it.

copper stiletto said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
copper stiletto said...

Ok so I have read the xymyl post and have to disagree to a certain extent. The beat is already there. Its in the rhyme. If you have any rhythm in your soul, you can feel it. I am feelin the content too, and it really don't drop my attention anywhere, so I have to say I like it. Good work, lets see some more!

(sorry had to go back and fix something)