50 Movies in 20 Days: COMPLETED

I am now, as you would expect, frankly sick of watching movies. An idea which at the time of conception seemed both challenging and fun turned out to be both gruelling and enthralling. I have learnt so much in so little time, and forgot it all so much quicker. My nights have been long, my days a great deal longer. My friends, I have floated through the clouds of Heaven and crawled through the fires of Hell. I have watched 50 movies in 20 days!

Regardless of the tales that I could tell, or the horrors of which I could speak, there’s something that everyone asks for above all else… lists! It appears that my journey of enlightenment, justification and self discovery, can be summed up into just two lists: The Best 5 Movies and The Worst 5 Movies. Unbelievable!

I’ll give you your list, but do amuse me briefly.

The First Movie. The First Day.

In hindsight, knowing I intentionally filled The Final 50 with hits, misses and maybes, it would have certainly made sense to have kicked things off by watching a sure bet miss with my spirit still excited by the challenge. However, as I had spent the day stuffing my face and boozing my brain at the office Christmas do, I opted for an easy watch and early night.


I got the ball rolling on day one with Black Dynamite – think Shaft, Super Fly, Dolemite, but more action and more comedy. It’s a modern day parody of the 70s blaxploitation genre that produced, among others, the aforementioned. It was funny, it was entertaining, and it was time to go to bed.

One down. A job well done, I thought. Only forty-nine to go.

The Fiftieth Movie. The Twentieth Day.

[See opening sentence]

ONLY FORTY-NINE TO GO!? What was I thinking!?

By now I wasn’t thinking, by now I couldn’t think. If you had offered me a penny for my thoughts you would have come out shortchanged. My brain had been fried and the pan had been left out on the kitchen worktop for days. By now the last thing I wanted to do was fortunately the last thing I had to do to complete this challenge. Some solace at last found.


The original plan was to watch Sharktopus (I left this till last as I knew it would require little-to-no concentration to follow) with a couple of friends. However, one had decided he had better things to do, and the other had decided that Facebook is an unreliable messaging service if you don’t check your Facebook for messages – which he of course hadn’t. So I finished as I had begun; tired, alone and set for an early night.

Sharktopus, as expected, is quite difficult to enjoy on your own. It’s one of those movies that are (intentionally?) made for you to laugh at, and not with. So although the entertainment value is higher than The Aviator (pun, not comparison), all of the fun is lost when there’s no one to go head to head with on in-film commentary slights.

Sharktopus ended, and with it so did the challenge. I informed the World and the World replied, ‘Good job. Now get back to work.’ No speech, no nominations, no awards. Not even an invite to a show where they recognise and award movie brilliance. Just the self satisfaction of knowing that if I can watch 50 Movies in 20 Days, I can do ANYTHING!

Your lists, you bastards.

The Worst 5 Movies


5. Mirrors
4. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
3. Superman Returns
2. Dorian Gray
1. The Box

Dishonourable mention: Beauty Shop; Cool as Ice; Coraline; Jennifer’s Body; Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian; The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

The Best 5 Movies


5. Gridlock’d
4. Pan’s Labyrinth
3. Magnolia
2. Chicken Run
1. Good Will Hunting

Honourable mention: A Beautiful Mind; A Simple Plan; Chopper; Citizen Kane; Dead Poets Society; Rescue Dawn; Schindler’s List; The Aviator; The Curious Case of Benjamin; Button; You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger.

A to the . . .

50 Movies in 20 Days

I have set myself an epic challenge! [See Heading]

So, what’s it all for?

Well, I’m a bit of a download junkie when it comes to movies, so much so that I’ve amassed a backlog of over 400 movies – that’s 400 movies I have but have never seen! To justify the greed I have set myself the challenge of selecting 50 of these movies to watch in the upcoming 20 days I have off work – Dec 15th to Jan 3rd.

Lunacy? Maybe.

I sincerely hope that the hours spent watching all of these films during the busiest time of the year will prove to be less taxing than it’s been selecting ‘The Final 50’.

The first cut was the deepest (and easiest). I scrolled through 400 plus files and was able to generate a shortlist of 125 movies – piece of cake. The next stage however was a drawn out process which lasted 7 days and involved me going over the list again and again and again, cutting movies bit by arduous bit.

I had to seek guidance in the form of friends, of family, of colleagues, and of Twitter. Unwanted recommendations were put forward, suggestions were made of what to cut, and movies were reinstated as the list fluctuated, ebbed and flowed into The Final 50 below.

It may not have been so difficult if there was a theme or bar of standard, however I wanted The Final 50 to be a movie mash up, bringing together the good, the bad and the dreadfully ugly.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, The Final 50:

1. 10 Items or Less
2. 17 Again
3. A Beautiful Mind
4. A Simple Plan
5. Arlington Road
6. Aviator
7. Beauty Shop
8. Black Dynamite
9. Bulworth
10. Casualties of War
11. Chicken Run
12. Chopper
13. Citizen Kane
14. Cool as Ice
15. Coraline
16. Dead Poets Society
17. Dorian Gray
18. Dream Girls
19. Driven to Kill
20. Good Will Hunting
21. Gridlock’d
22. Invictus
23. Jennifer’s Body
24. Kids
25. Lakeview Terrace
26. Lost in Translation
27. Love & Basketball
28. Magnolia
29. Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus
30. Mirrors
31. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
32. Notorious
33. Pan’s Labyrinth
34. Raising Arizona
35. Rescue Dawn
36. Rise of the Footsoldier
37. Schindler’s List
38. Skarktopus
39. Spanglish
40. Stir of Echoes
41. Stomp the Yard 2: Homecoming
42. Superman Returns
43. The Box
44. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
45. The Devil Wears Prada
46. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
47. The Hunchback of Notre Dame
48. The Shining
49. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
50. You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger

It’s not for charity; however donations towards popcorn, nachos, hot dogs and slush puppies would be greatly appreciated.

You can follow me on Twitter and find out how I get on with #50MoviesIn20Days.

A to the . . .

One For £5 or Three For £10

Apparently watching pirate DVDs is the equivalent of breaking into someone’s home and stealing their television . . . or strolling into a DVD store and helping yourself to a five finger discount . . . worse still, the anti-pirate DVD campaigns imply that if you watch pirate DVDs you might as well be snatching handbags from old ladies. And if that wasn’t enough we’re even faced with an FBI warning informing us that watching, buying or selling pirate DVDs is a ‘serious’ crime and we could face a fine or imprisonment if caught…

…yet oddly enough no one is shaking in their slippers.

Surely it’s counter productive that the anti-pirate message is delivered across licensed DVDs, presumably to an audience that are in all probability too scared to purchase a pirate DVD from their ‘local dealer’. I’m also guessing these ads are only affective in the sense that they may keep contributing members of the entertainment industry on the straight and narrow.

I do not wish to sway decisions and drag people down with me, but there are several reasons to purchase a pirate DVD, and even more reasons to download them yourself.

Trading Places
Pirated DVD’s are of course cheaper than store purchases, and in most instances a pirate DVD is cheaper than a cinema ticket. If you pay less than £5 to watch a movie in London don’t expect much at all, in fact, don’t even expect to see the movie you paid for.

This price war has forced entertainment stores to drastically cut the prices of both new and old DVDs. You can actually purchase licensed DVD’s for less that £5 in most of the large stores and online… but these are usually old films that went straight to DVD . . . and then straight to the stockroom. That ‘Classic’ sticker isn’t fooling anyone.

Be Kind Rewind
Take your pick; the bootleggers are just as technically savvy as the production and distribution industries. Movie piracy is no longer a case of ‘I’ll take whatever I can get.’ now it’s more a case of ‘What do you want?’ Back when VHS was the hottest dung on the field you could never expect too much from your purchase. The screen was always too dark, the sound was always doubtful, and you had to endure an audience who couldn’t sit still or be quiet . . . and why was the camera always at an off angle?

Nowadays if you purchase a pirate DVD and it’s not DVD quality you find that son of a bitch and either get your money back or whoop his ass! Whatever happened to customer satisfaction?

Back To The Future
Yes we are, and usually a couple of weeks before the movie has even premiered. I love it when people ask me if I’m going to watch the next hot flick and I reply ‘Seen it already’. It’s a testament to the determination, dedication and discipline of the bootlegging industry. Eventually bootleggers will start making the blockbusters before the production companies . . . keep an eye on your scripts!

Misery
Many of the irritations that come with the cinematic experience can easily be avoided in the comfort of your own home . . . or better still, in the comfort of your own bed.

Another selling point of piracy is that it brings the action to your door. You don’t have to endure two hours of loud chewing, phone ringing, popcorn tossing, and chair kicking miscreants! And that’s usually after waiting in line for twenty minutes.



Die Hard
In a feeble attempt at somewhat balancing the piracy debate, there is a serious downside to pirate movies that we shouldn’t overlook. Is it not after all a common fact that piracy funds terrorism? If this is startling news to you please research all the facts behind this anti-piracy statement . . . and then tell me what you find. I’ve seen enough of Bin Laden’s videos to know he’s not making a profit from knock-off DVDs.

No Country For Old Men
A variety of measures could be taken in an attempt at reducing piracy’s affect on the entertainment industry. Let’s not forget that this debate doesn’t only include movies, other mediums are also looking for a means of cutting down piracy and increasing legitimate sales. The music and gaming industries have both taken a hit, and while music technology has in fact made it a lot easier to steal albums, gaming has made it a riskier ploy by ‘rigging’ consoles disabling them from playing pirate copies.

I would spend more of my hard earned cash on cinema tickets and DVDs if better quality movies were produced. I’ve been hoodwinked, cajoled, bamboozled and had the wool pulled over my eyes way to many times to rely on the next big flick being the next big flick. If the big shots want more bums in seats we should get a lot more Juno, No Country For Old Men, Snakes On A Plane (Yes, Snakes On A Plane) and Death Proof for our money. And with that said…

A to the . . .

Thankfully He’s No Adam West

It of course makes no sense for me to review a movie without watching it . . . so instead I'll review two movies I’m yet to see. More like two movies I am eager to watch. The buzz surrounding the highly anticipated and latest instalment of the Batman series (is it the sequel or like part six?) The Dark Knight has caught my attention and prompted me into downloading Batman Begins.

…Unfortunately my attempt was halted by a shoddy copy which forced me to restart my PC; shame on me : (

Luckily enough things have a habit for working out for me, and a colleague has borrowed me the Batman Begins two Disc Special DVD. Another victory for the freeloading mastermind, hoorah!

I can’t tell you much about the movie for previously noted reasons, but I can tell you why I’m eager to watch it. For me Batman Begins appears to be one of the movies that regrettably slipped through my viewing net. Nowadays we’re not blessed with great films to view in the cinema every month, so we’ve attached ourselves to television shows such as Heroes, Prison Break and Desperate Housewives to stimulate our couch potato lifestyles. When we’re told that they’re making another Superman, Batman or Spiderman movie we (mean I) think “Ahh, not this shit again”…

In Spiderman’s defence the trilogy was well executed and had a healthy and consistent balance of drama, action, entertainment and character development. Superman of the other hand… well let’s just say I have no desire to watch his return.

Now Batman is in a league of his own thanks to Val Kilmer and George Clooney’s career threatening attempts. And let us swiftly forget Arnold playing Mr. Freeze . . . oh Lord. So surely I can be forgiven for snubbing the return of a superhero who has no superpowers? And who’s ever been to Metropolis or Gotham City? The challenge of a making a great Batman movie has swallowed a few teams along the way. Do we highlight his comic book roots, or his dark natured background? Only a goose would choose the prior and make Batman a family film… twice! Was Adam West’s portrayal of The Dark Knight ever taken seriously? Would you ever look at that portrayal of Batman and think Dark Knight? No! You’d think, “Get a real job! I don’t want my taxes paying for your crime fighting benevolence.”



Trailers of The Dark Night have left me in awe at the psychopathic nature and revamped look of The Joker. You’d think twice before calling this guy a clown. The latest movies have certainly grown up from the Clooney days, and we should all pray that they don’t reintroduce that little rascal Robin. I’d really be disappointed if I popped in the Batman Begins DVD and saw that poor excuse for a sidekick.

I like the fact that they’ve hit the ‘Restart’ button on the Batman legacy as a continuation would always draw the audience back to Bruce Wayne’s slapstick past… POW! . . . ZAP! . . . BIFF! . . . WTF! By telling Batman’s story from the beginning once again were presented with a new character to assess, one who can’t be affiliated with the shameless characters that came before him. We’re presented with another chance to deem Batman worthy of superhero status and to apply credit to his disposition and intentions.

It would appear that this time around Batman hasn’t returned primarily to fill seats or sell action figures. He’s back to show that there is a great story behind his character, there is depth, and there are hopefully reasons to forget that it’s just a film.

Now if I watch it and it’s the same old shit I’ll be back here to burn Bruce down to the ground! . . . and that silly car of his too.

A to the . . .