Friday, 18 May 2007

The Autobiography Of A Non-Smoker Who Kind Of Smoked . . . Part Two

Half Baked

My girlfriend (the ex from part one) wasn’t a bad girl; she was sweet, funny and a little bit off the wall at times; but certainly not bad. Well I never saw her dark side at least. The same girl did try to get me high though, not so innocent after all. She didn’t only puff on tobacco; she liked the green leaves also.

I never used to drive back then so after our dates we would stroll around the streets delaying ‘home time’. Chatting about whatever, and sharing more than a few jokes. We ended up walking through a quiet residential area and she pulled out a joint she had rolled earlier.

I didn’t like the fact that she smoked, or that she got high either. It didn’t bug me enough to break up with her so it wasn’t really a big issue at all. The pros outweighed the cons.

‘I want see what you’re like when your high’, she said it with a suggestive smile. ‘Light it up then’ I replied. She didn’t think that I would try it, she thought I was just messing about . . . she wasn’t aware that I had tried ‘funny’ cigarettes before. I kept my cool and played it off like it was nothing. She took the first hit and passed it to me. Her face had a huge grin plastered on; I took a drag, inhaled and exhaled blowing the smoke just past her face, as if to confirm that I had taken it in.

‘How do you feel?’ she asked. I felt normal, as if I had just finished a glass of water. Her face was clearly disappointed so she handed me the joint once more, ‘Do it again, you didn’t do it properly.’ I took another hit, deeper this time. I inhaled with my mouth open so she could follow the smoke into my lungs, and exhaled. She stared for a short while . . .
‘how do you feel now?’

I felt normal. Drugs are a disappointment.

OK, rewind back to 2003 . . . you remember my friend who generously handed me cigarettes at will right?

Well . . . he had his own flat for about 3 or 4 months. He got hooked up by one of his dads friends who had decided to move in with his girlfriend. My friend got the flat for £20 a week . . . great init?

He also inherited a massive tub of weed (cannabis). The chunk was larger than a tennis ball.

It was also drier than sand in the desert! It must have been older than both of our combined ages. We didn’t know what to do with it so we waited for another buddy to come around with his roll up skills. Four of us ended up sharing the joint . . . we puffed, puffed and puffed . . . no one got high . . . might as well have rolled up begonias.

It wasn’t until a month later that I felt the hit of drugs. The same friend (it’s a good thing that I don’t hang around with this guy anymore) asked me to meet him at his aunt’s house before we went out to a club. His aunt had generously rolled up a little treat for us. It wasn’t weed though, it was some dirty cheap stuff, and I think its called Ash, Skunk or Punk. It’s like black soot.

I should have said ‘no’ when he asked me to try it, but there were three of us there and I didn’t want to be chilling out with two stoned guys trying to make sense of their ramblings . . . I wanted to be rambling too.

I will never try that sh*t again as long as I live! It was nasty, went straight to my head and felt like I had been punched between the eyes. That junk slowed me down, I didn’t even want to go to the club when we left . . . I just wanted to wash that junk out of my system, or sleep it off.

I was disappointed in myself for trying it, what was I thinking? It wasn’t like me to even be smoking cigarettes, talk less of class C drugs. OK, it’s not exactly heroin or cocaine, but it was stupid nonetheless. I knew I wouldn’t have a problem with it even if I did enjoy the high (which I didn’t); I just wanted ease my curiosity and be able to say that I had done it. Well I think that’s what I was thinking at the time . . . who actually wants to be a stoner?

Evidently I didn’t do enough drugs to lecture anyone against it, but you don’t need dementia and hundreds of needle pokes in your arms to say that drugs are bad. Go and watch Requiem For A Dream.

Part 3 (yeah there’s more) coming up next.

A to the . . .


Shrink wrapped scream said...

Ha! I'm the same - back in my long and distant youth, when I first hit London, I was sooo disappointed, like, "And?" as I watched my mates roll around and get daft.. nothing penetrated my system, it never worked on me.

Maybe they were only pretending?

Sebastien said...

Well, you tried it, and you didn't like it, which is fortunate. There is something sad, when people get so wrapped up in that stuff, that it becomes something that defines them! I mean, so long as people enjoy a joint every now and then, there really is little harm done, but if that becomes the only thing you can use to relax, well, I don't think that's good...

cooltopten said...

Its good that you didnt like it, to be honest it cant of been that good a weed cause if it was you would of probably been sick and felt really ruff.I used to smoke weed every day for years and I can tell you its a waste of time , it just makes you slow and stupid.I havent smoked for a year now and my mind is much sharper and my short term memory has returned(what was I talking about?) :) .Anyway , thanks for stopping by and for your comment , and stay way from drugs , they only take away your natural high.

Ak-Man said...

LOL . . . I remember watching an episode of 'Grounded For Life' where the dad found his daughters weed stash and replaced it with some herbs. She had never smoked weed before.

When her and her friends smoked it they all just pretended to be high cos they didnt know how 2 feel hehehehe

Gotta agree . . . but I wouldnt even recommend it to anyone once in a while. Not becuase it's so dangerous but because when you're hooked it'll take over too many parts of ya life.

Was all back in the day and isolated incidents.

Had no intention of making a habit out of it . . . but thats probably how a lot of people get started to I see your point.

david santos said...

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Missing Madeleine!
Madeleine, MeCann was abduted from Praia da Luz, Portugal on 03/03/07.

If you have any information, please contact Crimestoppers on
0800 555 111

Please Help

sam said...

good thing you kicked it nice and fast!!
drugs are a big time no no... can say that, coz i've been there and done that... and have tried some of teh real bad boys!!

Deb said...

Ooh! Major non-smoker here! 25 years ago kicked that nasty habit.

Hey, it's me, the old 'toiletpaper' gal. Now have a brand spanking new blog 'SNOOZ U LOOZ' over at Come take a peek.


People in the Sun said...

I used to do it for years and then I transformed my consciousness into the soul of a dog in the desert. No. That's not what happened. I probably saw it in a movie. I think I talked about dolphins. It was horrible. Na... It was actually very funny. The guy from Midnight Express was there. So years later he took all these joints and taped them together like a pan-flute. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

copper stiletto said...

this is great, where's part 3? plese don't go experimenting while your gone either ;)

Ak-Man said...

Part 3 is done and ready to go up. I'm just gonna review it and sharpen it up.

I writ em all in one go.

Fathairybastard said...

All well said my man. I used to have the stuff pushed on me by folks who were supposed to be cool. Always felt that they were faking cool; doing the look, but not the substance. As an adult, I sort of think I should have relaxed and not taken it so seriously. Maybe we are supposed to try things, and experience life, so long as we don't let the substance or the crowd, push us around.

Pope Terry said...

Well at least you tried it before denying it, thats the important part. I've tried it before but never really enjoyed it past the first time, I may do it again I may not, but I'm not even a drinker, so I guess I'm pretty safe from the pressures of society (or my friends who alsways offer me beer and other forms of alcohol).

Ak-Man said...

Fat Hairy Bastard . . . you don't mind me calling you that do you? LOL

I get what your saying. You can only get away with doing dumb stuff when you're young. The older you get the more you have to consider your choices. I never really thought it, or they were cool though . . . I was just in a weird phase at the time.

Yo Pope . . . you aint supposed to be abusing stubstances . . . it's shameful that a man of your position even tried it.

Jose said...

Weed is cool, man.